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A letter to the hot-tempered Christian woman: Dealing with Anger

  • Wangui 

You didn’t mean to snap, but you did. And now you may have just lost a friend, or a business deal, or something that you had been praying so hard about.

It’s not that you do it on purpose, it just comes from out of nowhere, overwhelms you, and leaves you feeling like the worst Christian there is.


Everyone deals with it occasionally. For some of us, however, it’s the demon we try to leash lest it brings our lives down to ashes.

Our relationships.


And the scariest of them all, our relationship with Christ.

I’ve not always been an angry human. At a young age, you could describe me as a quiet girl. For those who saw a little deeper, they could say I was the still waters that run deep. I don’t remember being so angry or hot-tempered.

I always took it in, stored up the emotions, and moved on with life. Then I got older, started seeing the world through a new lens, and most of all, I started seeing the truth behind how we human beings could be.

I snapped. It came quietly. Too quietly for me to notice, until the anger started defining how I dealt with situations. My hands would shake terribly, and my heart would beat at a thousand miles per hour. Everything would stand still and I would be incapable of seeing anything else but my anger.

Still, I kept it in. No. Going on an anger explosion before my family, friends, or strangers was unacceptable. Away to a quiet place, I would move, and the tears would come. Fast, hard, and painful.

No words said, but one more relationship would be severed.

Why is dealing with anger such a sore wound to Christians

As a Christian, it’s even harder admitting that we deal with anger.

I mean, shouldn’t you be sober, level-headed, and all the good traits a Christian should have. Then there’s this other elephant in the room: God does not like us to act in anger. That much is clear in the bible. Moses would have a story or two about how he lost some promises because of anger.

Thinking about all this, left me not only guilty but feeling like the worst human ever alive. Why could I not put a reign on it? Why was I not so hot-tempered? And why did these little things irk me so much?

Does it ever feel this way? Like you’ve lost control. Like you don’t deserve God’s love because of the anger you are feeling?

This is a letter to let you know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do. We are a bunch of us, and even better, we can work it out with God’s gracious kindness and mercy.

You are not alone when dealing with anger. It's a human thing

If the almighty God shows anger in his book, why can’t I be angry?

I know. This question crossed my mind so many times.

Scene 1: The Israelites disobey God, and he gets so very mad enough to send them into slavery for more than 400 years.

Scene 2: Moses breaks the commandments tablet, God gets angry and as a discipline, Moses never enters the Promised Land.

Scene 3: Jesus finds traders in the temple doing business. In anger, he drives out all, turns the table, and in outrage destroys their wares.

So, if the all-powerful God and Christ could get angry, then how can we mere mortals not end up hot-tempered. Even worse, how could we not act on those feelings of anger?

First, we have to understand that in all these 3 instances, God’s anger was righteous. Anger where one cannot stand seeing sin prevail, and His people falling into distraction. If God had pampered the Israelites, then they would have continued in sin, and probably end up in disobedience which leads to distraction.

I mean, getting angry is only human!

Yes and No.

It’s human to want to get angry. But it’s not right to let the anger consume you and drive you from the path of obedience.

See, God doesn’t dislike it when we act all angry because it’s just his thing to do. He dislikes it because he understands and knows how detrimental it is for us, his kids, to act out of anger.

Let me put it this way- being angry is completely normal. It’s an emotion like any other, say sadness, happiness, or fear. But, God, like in all other temptations, did provide a way out of acting in anger.

Human will.

Why human will is vital for dealing with anger.

Yes, it’s totally okay for you to be angry at the person who put you in so much pain. What you do with these feelings makes all the difference.

You can;

1> Snap at the person and probably hurt them too.

2> Hold a grudge that not only drifts you apart but is also a constant ache in your life.

3> Take revenge

The options of acting on our anger are endless. But you could always choose the right path. It will feel like the hardest path, yet it is the best.

1> You will heal faster and better.

2> You keep your relationships healthy

3> You grow stronger in Christ.

Dealing with anger once and for all

Our next post goes into detail about how you can put a reign on anger as a young Christian alongside some bible verses to help you through defeating anger.

As promised, here it is.

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