In our last post: we explored anger, a personal story, and why God is against anger. I also mentioned that most young people, especially in the Christian realm, struggle with anger. It’s not a pretty trait or sin, as the bible would call it, to deal with.
It’s infuriating and causes more harm than good. So, in today’s posts, we cover 4 practical ways you can have control of your anger as a Christian.
I will be honest upfront and confess that over the last couple of months, during the pandemic months, I have struggled with quite a few episodes of anger. The aftermath was not pretty and I came close to severing relationships, but by God’s grace through these 4 ways, I managed to put a reign on my hot-tempered ways.
Here is what worked for me, and if done with the right heart, can work for you too.
5 Ways of gaining Control of Anger as a Christian
1) Get to the root cause of why you are angry
Sometimes, the excuse you give is not the reason for your anger. In most cases, it will be a surface excuse, so you don’t have to deal with the real unpleasant reason.
Getting to the real reasons why we are angry is hard. It’s painful and emotionally raw. You might be angry because you keep falling into a particular sin, but if we are honest, we don’t want to admit that to ourselves or others.
But the healing will never start if we are not honest with our reasons for anger.
Takeaway: You need to be brutally honest with yourself, others, and most importantly with God. Because if you keep giving the excuse that’s not a reason, you will end up in cycles of anger all your life. If you want to have control of your anger, you need to be honest even when it’s painful.
2) Step away
You might not do something drastic to land you in jail, but you could go on a verbal explode that could damage relationships and hurt others tenfold. In the spur moment of anger, our initial desire is to act out, take revenge, or make the other party feel the pain we are feeling.
Take away: Don’t do it.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20
From experience, it’s best to let the matter rest. Go for a walk, spend time doing your favorite hobby, and give time for everyone’s nerves to settle. It’s so hard to break away when all you want to do is act out, but in the end, it saves you a lot of heartaches and regrets.
When your hands are shaky, your heart racing, and your mind ready to explode, the last thing you want to do is to pray.
Takeaway: There is so much calm in prayer. Talking to God about the situation, the circumstances, and the pain gives you an out of this world relief. Even a simple prayer like, “Lord help me to be calm, act in wisdom and patience”, will make a huge difference.
In moments when our lives are a raging storm, God has promised serenity and peace like this world cannot give. (John 14:27)
4) Now take it out
It’s not yet over. You need to confront your reason for being angry. Too many times, after I am calm and things are seemingly going back to normal, I want to forget and not deal with my anger. Most of the time, I want to pretend it never happened.
Forgive and forget right?
Well, when the above phrase is taken out of context, it is a dangerous path to follow.
Takeaway: You don’t want to just move on. You want to confront the anger head-on, albeit after you are calm, have a chat with God, and know the reason behind your hot-temperedness.
It may feel like reopening healed wounds, but it is actually treating your life wounds so they can heal better. If you don’t deal with it now, it will only open a channel of resentment, more anger and pain than you bargained for.
5) Now, forgive and forget
After dealing with your anger, within God’s wisdom and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, it’s time to let it all go. When you let the anger go, you create an environment where God can work in your life better. And finally, you become a freer person, void of emotional clutter that may be affecting your life.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice Ephesians 4:13
Anger was never part of God’s plan for our lives. It’s a tool by Satan to deprive us of God’s blessings and promises in our lives. As a person who deals with anger, I know how hard it is to have control over your anger.
But there is a promise that God has given us: that we, his kids can overcome sin because he has given us the Holy Spirit and His word(The Bible) to lead us through the process.
You too can do it. Be intentional about having control of anger, and try out these 5 ways to be an anger-free Christian living in God’s promises.